Ready for the Next Chapter…

October 24, 2013 by joyfullydancingdaughter 1 Comment

I am ready for the next chapter.

I am ready to be completely well.

I am ready to live my life the way my heart yearns to live it.

I am ready to rid my body completely of the Lyme bugs crawling around inside me.

I am ready to be an independent adult again.

I am ready for the next chapter.

This was all reestablished on my birthday. This year’s birthday was different. It was hard to celebrate. Tears fell throughout the day. My emotions reassembled anger instead of joy. I couldn’t wait for the day to end (and I am person who usually LOVES her birthday). It was not the way I had intended to celebrate this day, but it was the way that God gave it to me.

This week I was given many gifts…

…laughter in a text message from a friend.
…an answer about treatment.
…time with my brother.
…a hug from my mom.
…a funny card from my dad.
…tears to grieve the loss I am still living.
…Monkey snuggles and Ladybug hugs.

These are gifts that are not tangible, but heartfelt.

They are what brings joy to my days.

Some are easier to accept than others.

I will gladly open my arms for a hug, but letting tears fall is a little more difficult.

With an answer about treatment came a sense of peace, but it also brings more waiting, more patience practicing…which is getting more and more difficult in each day.

And as those tears fell and I wonder if I have any more patience in me, God is there to whisper in His still, small voice…”You are loved. I am here.”

So whether or not this is the next chapter I was expecting to start, it is the one that has been given. My heart still yearns for more, but it is learning to be content in today…in the waiting. This is the day that I will live. And even on the hardest days, I will choose to live it with joy.

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.~ Psalm 118 (vs. 24), ESV